this is a series of fortunate events that turns out to be one big beautiful story.
arrow, from last halloween to this halloween
i met Marcus physical self on the same night last year during heather’s halloween party.
but the first time i noticed him was through his DJ set during heather’s birthday party in June this year. i danced alone in the living room in his DJ set with my jellyfish. i asked him if he could be my producer, he said he can’t. he could maybe find me one. he listens to Aurora as well. we talked and i thanked him.
the next time i saw him was at heather’s korean food party. he brought a girl with black hair and looked like a sad manga character. marcus feels like odessey from dome crew. so i assumed she was her wife. a story was built in my head before anything was revealed. until she said “i think we are friends because our jewish root”. she said it very slowly and broke my imaginative silver lining with a voice of long latency.
i asked to hug him, he said no because he was too sweaty. ok got it. not a hugger. i feel like enid trying to hug wednesday. then we talked very shortly about music and roots and crisis. i didn’t tell him what happened. but he said wow. i showed him how to love with an open hand.
that’s the last time i saw him.
everyone calls him boat daddy. that’s what he was recognized for. but we kept missing out on each others despite frequent invitations. i missed high vibe fest. i missed all his boat events. i missed his birthday, which he never had an event. then I missed him on my birthday, because he was too sick.
i was so sad. but i pushed it through. and my birthday was perfect.
during my birthday campout, yasmine and i swinged on the top of the macala hill and we were shouting out our love to southern california and good weather. the night flowed with a lot of conversations around masculine and feminine between yasmine and leon. i was mostly enjoy my production design and playlist and had no conversation going.
when yasmine and i were about to sleep, she walked me and we talked about marcus. she has great eye for human like me. i got excited and then i got sad again that he was not around.
when i came back from the campout, i missed macala so much that i asked to call him and he said no because he was too sick. ok. not a caller. i feel like enid trying to call wednesday again. but then he asked me to send him a voice note. i was too speechless from the campout that i couldn’t do anything about it.
then two days later he checked in on me. i told him, i was ready to buy the ticket for the off the grid camp out. then right before i did that, he told me the off the grid camp out was cancelled.
during the call, we decided to camp together, and we picked halloween night. this is such a genius decision because no one will be fighting with us on camping spot during halloween night. he asked if other people will join us. i said no, 1on1 is the best way to get to know someone. he said ok? with a question mark.
he offered to camp with me in one tent and i said i would be open to it if it was extremely cold.
what do you see, where have you been
one week before on a sunday, we finally had a chance to talk about food on a sunday night. i went to work in altadena that day for the gibson event. had a blast, got too excited, and called him later.
…
“we need to make things from scratch.”
“i want to kill a live animal on top of a mountain and bury it.”
“how about a lobster?”
“do you usually do these hard things?”
“no i only have friends that want to do the easy things.”
“how about we hunt for a rabbit.”
“no we don’t kill anything that’s cute.”
“then we can’t eat egg, egg is cute too!”
“we can harvest from the farm.”
“how about we pick vegetables along the way.”
…
he started a shared note and we were both taking notes while talking.
i suggested things that are nuts and he just said yes and more.
that conversation was two and half hour. at two hours mark he said happy two hours. before i hang up, i said, forgot to hold back, i said, where have you been my whole life.
after we hang up, i cried like a baby. blast out crying.
i spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about that camping trip that i struggled with the idea that it has become too intense for me. i was shocked and then i asked todd (my writer neighbor) for advice in front of my house. i said i am signing myself up on a very important trip with a person that i barely met. we called and it was great. but we are to camp alone on halloween night!
todd said, shiyoo you are not suppose to camp with someone you don’t know alone right away. please grab a coffee with him and if you don’t feel doing it please cancel it right away. i said yes we are meeting the night before. todd said, by the way, it’s going to rain this weekend. i said, i am aware and we both are excited. todd smiled. i said, now you understand why i want to camp with this stranger! we both are nuts! he laughed.
luckily he invited me to join escape room the night before, considering that’s the coffee that todd suggested.
dr.gilbert blythe, no room to escape
a few days ago he said he has another ticket and ask me to invite someone else. i went through a long list of people not in la. and then i end up picking aaron, who was about to leave la.
for dinner, i suggested doing dan sung sa with him that night. i knew he would love it so much. but he had a cut off time and needed to go back and sleep. and said i could go with him. i wanted him to try dan sung sa so badly but i took the challenge and found yama in ktown to gather before.
that day was disorienting. morning i waited for the a/c guy to show up, he was late and crossed my new roommate tour time. i fell in love with the new roommate and she decided to move in. then i went to the woman health dr, took bunch of blood, and got a scan for my eggs. then went to aric’s parking lot to try to drop off eclipse grooming tool and tent. aric is not home and i worked my head off in the parking lot. then i was late to the ktown gathering and couldn’t find my wallet.
i showed up at the table and announced that i couldn’t find my wallet before anything. aaron was there too. he was there. a new guy paul was there. i wanted to cry, not because of wallet, but because i already had an emotionally intense day, but both of them, very important people were sitting there same time, i got overwhelmed and couldn’t keep my adhd under control. i had to calm myself down by organizing his trash. i couldn’t stop staring at him and i felt it was my first time seeing him. which is kinda true.
we took a waymo to the escape room and it was our first waymo. then we started the escape room play with 3 of them being strong characters and i was totally not sure what was going on the whole way. i was amused because i just offered lilya a job at my company who used to be a night security guard. it sounded so easy but who knew that this is actually such a hard job. during the play, when the walky talky person asked us to share intentions on paper. i drew mochi mountain ghosts. and i saw him writing about the packing.
after the escape room we walked the ktown st and and ran into a historical mexican restaurant and got a drink. aaron and i talked a little bit. there was a huge blueish purple fish tank and i told him it looked like the scene from wednesday season 2 when they were forming the crime group morning song. and in that scene a mermaid was swimming in the tank. aaron echoed, yes, it does look like a scene from morning song. a siren crime.
after aaron and paul left, we both felt we needed to sync, so we went into my car, so we sat next to each others in my car. i didn’t remember what we talked about, it was about the camping next day for sure. but i just remember there is a latency in our conversation, and I was looking into his eye, constantly losing my thought, but i was so sure i want to go camping with him.
wow. what can we do. i guess we are officially going to camp together now alone in the mountain and killing a lobster. what else can we do. no room to escape. it’s actually happening.
groceries, groceries
on halloween, i woke up early, packed fast, smooth and elegant, then arrived an hour and half late. he seemed already packed most of it.
we went to sprouts to meticulously weight all the spices for the lobster bisques in small pack like a video game. while we were picking the black peppers, we were picking the same black peppers. and then we went to seafood city, got no luck but found fresh sticky rice for snack. then we went to 99 ranch and finally got a real lobster. not the frozen one but a live one. when the guy asked us to pick from one of the two he showed us, we picked the exact same one with no hesitation, and walked out like champions.
the drive was so nicely long and we arrived when it was already dark. i shared with him my matchmaking achievement along the way. he asked me if i can take him as a client. i said i don’t do that. it has to be spontaneous. then i regret saying it.
when we were at the camp gate we saw two signs pointing opposite directions, and we bet on which direction to go. i was right. and now i have to ask him to do something for me. but i don’t know what. i felt like losing instead of winning. everything i said i wanted from him he would just say yes anyway, what’s the point of betting?
reckless lover, strawberry-phobia
when we arrived at the avocado grove camp site, night already fall. and the sun has set. this is such a handsome site. the landscape felt so private yet on top of the world. it gave us both just half of the world like it was hidden but also a panoramic view on top. we quickly explored, he set up the fire pit, and we climbed all the way to the hill top. wow. i said, happy birthday. surprise! and it’s also halloween, his birthday, my birthday, an anniversary of we encountering each others.
we were watching the city light on the ground from the hill top and sitting on a rock side by side. my head was still stuck on the betting question and couldn’t quite enjoy the view yet. before halloween i shared with him i am afraid of skeleton. but when we were on the hill, wait! all of a sudden i am noticing… he is wearing a strawberry hat! that’s even more scary! i immediately got uncomfortable and told him the story of matthew, the strawberry guy trying to hit on me during the primal move dance last year in november. matthew was a reckless lover, still trying after i turned him down so many ways. and i was so uncomfortable. i know it sounded like a nice problem to have but it’s really not. i almost wanted to cry. i also told him about ruya’s problem with social energy. then he took the hat off and asked me if i wanted a hug. i paused for 3 seconds, and said yes. he hugged me. then he offered to pick me up his pack and carry me down the hill. i said, i need to over think this. he laughed. i paused for 15 seconds and said yes. he picked me up and took me down to the camp site while rain started pouring. i didn’t want to get off but i did. it was the right thing to do.
master spells, killing a lobster in a fish tank
rain covered the entire mountain and we had to set up tents and cook in rain. we slowly moved all the cooking set up into the top cabin, which was closed up with new windows. i decorated the ceiling with my new jellyfishes. the roof started to leak. i wished we didn’t have windows. at least we would have a view. but with the window we looked like we were fishes in a tank ourselves. what a scene.
two of us collab, set up stove, steamed lobster together and rotated to peel and chop vegetables. the lobstie turned bright red after a few mins and it was strangely fascinating to watch. after we skin the lobster and throw the skin with fresh vegetables to make the broth, the little cabin was steamed by all kind of spices and smelled divine.
we did such a good job killing the lobster, make the broth, and turn everything into cream. he also made the wine himself the whole night and we couldn’t finish them. and the leaking roof was challenging yet stimulating. make the whole experience so much more memorable. i felt cold yet safe to be there with him.
the rainstorm covered the entire mountain. we were above the storm cloud. and cloud came and go, with a glimpse of city lights revealed here and there below. and we were watching from the fish tank like characters inside a tv.
the cooking took a long time because the rain slowed down all the movement. we had to reinvent arrangement now and then to make sure rain doesn’t drip in the food. when it was finally over, i was exhausted to even eat. my stomach hurt so much. and yet it was also so delicious.
he offered to hug me. but i didn’t quite take it as is. i wanted it but i was reluctant to go deeper. storm came and go, making the cabin so wet and unbearably cold. we were just fishes in a glowing leaky fish tank killing a lobster to eat.
breathe out, strawberry, skeleton and skin
i was standing in the rain, soaked and couldn’t go to sleep. i looked at my canvas tent that was meant to be kinda waterproof, touched the tent and realized it was not wet inside. i was a bit surprised. so now i have no excuse to share space with him right? but i couldn’t sleep tonight by myself, for so many reason. i didn’t have the right bedding, my pump was almost dead, my tent might still leak if the rain got too big in the middle of the night. and regardless of all, i wanted to be with him.
so i asked. and he said yes. but the moment i got into his tent, i saw how dry and clean everything was, and i was embarrassed that i was wet, so i sat in the corner. he said, why are you in the corner? i said cuz i am so wet. so he gave me clean pants to put on.
i put his pants on, and then slowly moved into bed with him. no touching. but i was still so cold, and i couldn’t bear with it anymore. i asked if he could hug me. there was no hesitation, he folded me into his body.
he was wearing a shirt… so clean and appropriate which made him quite attractive. yet his skin was the softest thing. but scary too. more scary than strawberry and skeleton, because it was addictive. and i am scared to be addicted to things. the whole night we were just swimming with each others in the bed, and i was warmed and welcomed over and over again. i was so comfortable, and we were so careful towards each others, and synchronized the whole time.
in the midst of all the exploration between each others’s skin and breathe, i could tell he was a bit scared too. just like me. he was mirroring me and wouldn’t make a move like guys typically do. i guess it’s ok to be scared because two strangers are sleeping on top of a mountain alone in halloween night. it was meant to be quite scary.
main theme, sweet potato, milk tea, cold tea and fire pit
we didn’t sleep much but woke up with bird sounds, fresh air and good energy, and the wind flipping the tent rain fly like a human passing by.
when he sat up and breathe the new morning air, i saw him sitting at the edge of the bed doing nothing and just staring into the wild. it reminded me of this boy who has been breathing inside an astronut bubble helmet his whole life and all of a suddenly at the end of the film, opening his astronaut helmet, and breathe the fresh air first time his whole life.
i said, thank you for saving my life. he said, i needed it too.
i took a mental picture of that moment of him in stillness. what a beautiful moment to witness.
after a whole night of rain and mess, sun was finally out and then in the cloud again, more rain, then sun, then cloud, then sun. we cooked outdoor. taiwanese milk tea brewed from scratch, sangak, sweet potato in fire pit cooking, shaved asparagus, giant portabello, scrambled eggs, hot sauce. and coming down, cold tea.
we asked late check out so we can pack everything properly. finally when it was almost over, we walked to the top of the hill and buried the lobster head with my shovel. we picked a rock as his grave yard and under a flower that stick out from the ground.
after the bury was done, we went to the edge of the hill, jumped on him like a plane, and walked the farm, picked avocado and saw a beautiful dog with a few beautiful pigs together in a giant cage.
fortress, a series of fortunate events
there were so many other things happened on our way home too. we went to a cute mountain cafe and i shared my cake story. he asked me if i was open to share a teardrop trailer with him. and he asked me if scheduling next thing was that important to me. and after we arrived, i folded his tent neatly and he was grateful. then i picked up everything, clean, tidy, with no trace. he asked me how much percentage i was in, i said 70 something after i load, but the moment i got in my car, i immediately dropped to 1 percent, and was half-sleeping the whole way home in self-driving, with this song on repeat the whole road trip.