Supernova

Could be a song…

Love sealed in my 26-year-old. I replay those scenes I made with him in them in Nov 2019. My love was stuck in images of the past, and soon I noticed I was alone. Time changed, and I floated in the middle of nowhere.

I woke up one morning, realizing how lost I was. I texted him to say goodbye. A very long and earnest goodbye. I cried a lot and ripped my nose too much with tissues. I sat at the dining table the whole afternoon, copy-pasting our text histories. I sat there, only feeling the sun move. I wanted to remember something if I left. 

It’s naive to say that I experienced all the love I needed to know what love is about, but I met this love that made all the other love irrelevant. 

Yet, in the end, no roses or songs document how sad and desperate it could be. Three and a quarter years of hoping. I reached my limit, and I didn’t have the energy to cry for help. 

Part of me is wilting and ready to let go. I want to see a different life unfolding in front of me with poetries and gentle touches of skin. Part of me wants to stay and remember how beautiful it was to fall, to throw myself into the fire, and to watch myself die. Part of me felt alive as I was killed by longing for comfort in his cold. 

How does a star do when they meet a black hole? 

I picture a star swallowed by a black hole and struggling to escape. Toward the end, they exploded into a supernova. A shape of a heartbreak. 

The entire universe was lighted and stunned. 

If star has emotions, they will lose breath by the beauty of their heartbreak too.