Warrior of Curiosity

I discovered a new fear. Aging.

My sister cared to listen to it, and I was surprised that an 18-year-old would like to hear about it. Then I realized it’s not a problem for my 29-year-old and onward problem; it’s a problem since we were born.

I always was the youngest in the classroom. Naturally, I had the privilege of making more mistakes than other few-month-older fellow poor kids. When I finally feel this problem at 29, I empathized with this problem that has been in their lives from the moment that they can tell that they are older than someone, even if it means they are 3. How inescapable this programming is.

There is biological aging and nonbiological aging. Biological aging is happening every second, not a surprise at the very end of our 20s, 30s, or 40s.

They all seem to treat wrinkles as a disease. Then they were prescribed perfumed chemical mixtures and advertisements. But why are not-at-all life-threatening wrinkles and less smoothed skin texture so scary? Scarier than an empty stomach which leads to stomach cancer.

It’s nonbiological aging that’s scary.

Nonbiological aging is fun. It’s so real for them.

What is it about staying young forever that’s so attractive? 

The scarcity of time means wiring themselves to an assembly line of something, a career, a family, and success in tangible and intangible forms that satisfy the expectations of the people who raised them and crush the self-esteem of people who despised them. 

It is the opposite of having abundant time to discover self and wander space and time, permission for curiosity.

The obsession for squeezing float into machines equals the obsession for death.

If I am truly the most curious person as they commented, how is it possible to live out there? Life wouldn’t make sense with any lesser curiosity.

I, want to be the Warrior of Curiosity.